Tag Archives: joanne goulding

Why building your child’s self-love and acceptance is the door way to that thing called confidence

parentMany parents would love for their child to feel more confident and over the last 7 years it is the main thing that parents come to me for- how to help their child feel more confident.

What I have come to realise is that confidence is simply this- loving yourself.

Confidence is when an adult or a child feels so completely connected to who they really are; they naturally feel comfortable to show it to the world.

And this is where self-love comes into play.

The best way I feel a parent can help their child to build this self-love muscle is through doing the work themselves.

 After all children simply copy what parents demonstrate in their own lives?

Self-acceptance and self-love can literally just mean being easy on yourself; knowing that you are doing the best that you can in this given moment.

Knowing that if you knew any different or better that you would be doing it now. Knowing that many of your own limitations were just beliefs and fears passed down to you from your parents and teachers and don’t actually belong to you.

Getting in tune with yourself and loving yourself a little more can be the difference between your child cultivating this or not.

A simple top tip for beginning the self-love journey:

Place your hands on each part of your body from your head all the way down to your toes (while trying your best not to break out into the classic ‘head, shoulders, knees and toes…knees and toes…) and say out loud or in your mind “I love and accept myself”

Simple as that. I love and accept myself. I love and accept myself.

This activity can even be done with children and will really demonstrate to them what self-love is and how important it is.

Confidence IS NOT being loud and proud. Confidence is just loving yourself enough to be yourself.

Keep being uniquely you.

To your wellbeing

Love Jen xx

To learn how to increase your child’s self-love and acceptance on a deep, subconscious level go to and delve in to this simple program that will teach you the 2 min process to do at bedtime to build your child’s self-love and confidence tonight as they sleep; resolving many behaviours and symptoms such as bedwetting, fear of the dark, lack of confidence, attachment, anxiety and much more.

The Gift

The Gift - Sleeptalk for Children - Joanne Goulding

5 year old boy-Parent resolved child’s habitual cough

Case history for a 5 year old boy-Parent resolved child’s habitual cough

Child Coughing7th February 2012

I met with Mr and Mrs B in February 2012 in relation to their 5 year old son who at the time had a habitual cough.

The cough was believed to be in relation to anxiety and personal confidence and parents ruled out any allergies or medical conditions after tests and medical advice from their GP who advised it was possibly anxiety related.

B was using an inhaler for asthma and was taking vitamins.

B’s Mum spoke about B’s habitual behaviours such as chewing of clothes, smelling hands and more recently a persistent cough that teachers were noticing at school as were B’s peers. It was something that was causing anxiety and upset for parents and was very obvious at school and at home.

Mum and Dad said that B was quite irrational at times and was tearful and would rage when upset.

I spoke with parents at the end of March and B’s teacher had said that B had had a good term, the cough had decreased and that she had noticed improvements whilst in the classroom.

During the Easter holidays parents reported that the cough was minimal.

B then started back to school and the weekend prior to going back to school the cough had returned.

To note- the process was stopped over the Easter holidays as parents went away on holiday and were unable to fit the technique in with routine.

I advised that behaviour may have reverted as the process had stopped for two weeks. (This is due to the fact that it is recommended to follow the process for a minimum of 3 months to change the negative self beliefs to positive’s within the subconscious part of the brain) and with this in mind it was suggested to continue with the basic foundation words for a further two weeks until we had seen improvements in the cough again for us to then move onto the support stage where we would add specific words for B to the foundation words.

Parents had also had a consultant check up prior to their holiday abroad and B had been weaned off the inhaler that he was on and all allergies had been tested and it was shown that there were no food allergies, milk allergies and no environment allergies.

Mum was advised by Doctor that it was possibly anxiety related and that B would grow out of it.

17th April 2012

I met with B’s Mum mid April and there had been a further improvement again in the cough within the two weeks of delivering the foundation words again.

Mum reported that the cough had decreased again and commented that they had watched a program on television the week prior and couldn’t hear it as B was coughing so much through it. One week later they watched the same program with ease as B’s cough had decreased.

Other things that were reported by Mum were that B was now more receptive to going to other children’s houses to play, talking more expressively and displaying through words that he was able to rationalise more in his mind.

B was also happy to read with more confidence and was applying himself more in his studies.

The behaviour of hand smelling had stopped in the first 6 weeks and although B was still having outbursts they were more stable than they had been before.

We decided on the support words to add to the foundation words.

22nd May 2012

I spoke with B’s Mum to check progress and Mum reported that she couldn’t remember the last time that B had coughed.

It was recommended to continue with the process for a further two months.

This case history has been shared with parent’s full permission.

How to explore how your child feels in a fun way

Time for a game!

A focus on different emotions and feelings in a practical game played together or in a group

Smiley FacesEncourage your child to really act out what it feels like to feel a certain way.

What does angry look like? What does sad look like? What does happy and excited look like?

Walk around your living room or garden acting these emotions out. Say to your child, “lets’ all pretend to be angry” and then walk or skip around acting this out and then change to “now let’s all pretend to be happy” and change the emotions after about 20 seconds.

This gives your child the feeling that it’s ok to feel different feelings and that it’s safe to show how they feel.

It also allows them to get in touch with those feelings and know how they feel in their body.

You can ask: “When you act out angry/sad/happy (choose the emotion) Jacob where do you feel it in your body?”

If the answer is, “I don’t know…”

You can ask: “OK that’s fine. If you did know where do you feel it might be?”

This gives a child the safe place to express through imagination. It is most likely that this ‘imagination’ is actually their awareness and knowing but it just makes your child feel safer to express this.

Let your child know how the game is going to work from the beginning. Children are more likely to comply and follow a game if they know what is coming. Explain that for 20 seconds you are going to all act this feeling and then you will be changing to another one.

Ask your child if they can think of an emotion that they would like to act out too. This can also give you some insight into how they may be feeling in a safe, non-intrusive space.

Always remember to finish on a positive feeling so that you are leaving you and your child in a happy, relaxed state of mind and feeling. Ensure that the last 2-3 emotions that are acted out are ‘happy’ or ‘relaxed’ for instance.


Do you know who you are?

Stood under a tree v1

What makes you YOU?

I have been asking myself this a lot recently since beginning writing my book ‘Being You’

I remember at school doing school plays, playing netball because it got me out of maths and away from the very stressed out teacher and wanting to enjoy lessons like sports because my friends did and I wanted to be like them.

But I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me because I never really truly enjoyed these things.

I was a slow runner, wasn’t great at catching the ball and hitting it in rounders and felt nervous getting up on stage doing a play I really didn’t want to be a part of.

It’s almost as if no one ever asked me : ‘ what do you feel like doing Jen?’ Or ‘what will make you feel happy?

I never really knew because I was never asked. And so I grew up not really knowing what made me feel

  • Alive
  • Relaxed
  • Content
  • Free
  • Connected
  • Love

Which I discovered last year are some of my desired feelings.

Sunset v1

My question is – why wait until you’re 31?

I get told I’m quite young to be aware of my self so deeply so my second question is why does it take some until they are 40, 50 or even 60 years of ago to discover who they are and what makes them feel happy?

I would love to see more children benefiting from this wisdom. But we can’t give what we were never given ourselves can we.

So my question to you reading this today is- ‘ how do you know when you’re being you? What does it feel like? And how can you bring more of that into today?’

Children follow us as their leaders so the more we know ourselves the more they can learn from us as adults that’s it’s Ok to have a CHOICE about who you are and what makes you happy and you.

Have a think about just 3 times when you have felt truly YOU.

You will know when you were being YOU because you most probably felt confident in yourself, comfortable in your skin, alive and happy.

What does it feel like to be YOU?

Keep choosing you