Children can learn so much about loving other people and kindness through their interactions with their siblings.
We can also learn a lot about how our child is feeling through how they respond to their siblings.
Sibling rivalry is a topic that comes up a lot in my calls and so I thought we could look at 5 key things to remember when trying to reduce sibling rivalry.
1. Children’s behaviour is reflective of how they are feeling inside. If Tommy is hitting his sister regularly; this is information for you that is feeling emotionally empty and lacking connection with you.
2. Both children ( or one of the children), are trying to gain power over the other to make themselves feel better. This is just an indication that they feel empty and their self esteem is low. Just information for you as to how they are feeling.
3. Talking to them both about how they are feeling at the time will have a far greater effect than simply telling them to stop it- as tempting as the latter is. IE. “ I can see that you’re both feeling angry right now. Do you know why that is?” Engaging them in the conversation will help them to break it down with your help and lead to more learning’s for them.
4. Build some standards into the family home and discuss these regularly with your children. Children feel safer and more secure when they have firm standards in place.
5. Look to be resolving the root cause of why your children are attacking each other. If it’s a one off that is different but if it is a daily occurrence; it is a clear sign for you that they are both feeling empty emotionally and then the next step would be to build this connection and their self esteem.
This comes from daily interactions and many daily choices.
If you’d like to learn how to build your child’s self esteem and self security,
Check out The Gift– it has everything that you need to begin creating inner happiness for each child and encouraging a healthy and happy bond between them.